WRITTEN THIS WEDNESDAY AT ETAI’S CAFE AFTER DOUBLE SCHOOL DROP OFF (WE WERE LATE)
Today is Wednesday. I know this. I know my mom’s chemo is tomorrow. And I just wrote on her Caringbridge, asking for prayers for her chemo today. This is what it looks like to be with grief and run from it at the same time. Wednesday is Thursday. I can’t remember if green means go or stop when I’m driving. The present is the future and it’s always the past. I call her to apologize for the mix up, her friends are texting me asking what’s going on? I’m sorry everyone. She calls me, she’s still waking up. I apologize. She’s telling me things about herself, my dad, the dog. I’m listening. She doesn’t know I am crying.
Yesterday I finally went to see Nicole at Alchemy for a therapy session. It only took me 6 months to call her…I told her all the things.
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